


Chanwoo AU (Butterfly)

by lilacsforjune



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: F/M, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 05:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18866650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilacsforjune/pseuds/lilacsforjune
Summary: Chanwoo AU: where Chanwoo is a baseball prodigy who loses his interest in baseball and you who find inspiration on everything.





	1. 🦋 I - The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> ⚠️ This serves as a trigger warning ⚠️ 
> 
> • If you are not comfortable with topics like depression and the like please refrain from reading 
> 
> • I wrote this before to get me through my own battle years ago 
> 
> • I just wrote what I feel and I am in no way glorifying these topics. I hope this won't get you in the wrong way 
> 
> • A reminder: That we all face our own battles every day and we don't need to be exactly like anyone else to get through our own pain

Today is the last day for the departmental exams and you're getting bored waiting for anyone from your class to pass his/her test paper so you can pass yours as well. You always hated finishing the exam first because of the impression that whenever you pass your paper first it means that you are smart. You don't want to be called smart because it will just bring pressure. Being called smart means that they will expect more from you than the average students. And expectations always lead to disappointments. 

The best student from your block finally stood up and passed her paper. You waited for a few minutes before passing yours as well. You bought your things with you as you leave the exam room as soon as you submitted your paper. 

It's early afternoon and the classes are currently on going so the hallways are empty. You took the chance to snap a few photos. Just mindless stuff since you really don't have anything to do. 

You went on your way to the back gate since that one's nearer to your apartment. You are walking mindlessly when you saw a familiar figure sitting on the bench under the tree. 

You skipped your way to where Chanwoo was.  

"You look lonely," you said while sitting on the other side of the bench. Chanwoo just stares at you while slowly closing the book he was reading. 

"What brings you here?" You slowly put your bag on your lap. "I'm giving a lonely soul a company." 

"Lonely soul?" he asked while raising one of his brows. You just smiled.  

The things is, you have been studying Chanwoo Jung for a while now. There is just something so interesting in him. You know him ever since he joined the baseball team and he also belongs to cool kids group on campus.  

"I just know a lonely person when I see one, Jung. And besides I'm a very observant person even if I looked like someone who doesn't care about her surroundings. I have been noticing that you have been staring at nothing in particular. And you are always alone lately. Where are your loud friends?" 

"You are a very curious girl aren't you?" Chanwoo leaned back to the bench, "and I don't know what you are talking about." 

"I get it," you pouted. "You won't tell me your problem because you don't know me, right? Sorry, I just thought that maybe you need someone to talk to. And besides, they say that it is better to tell your secrets to strangers. And I am a complete stranger to you so you can tell me, I'm all ears." 

"You talk too much." Chanwoo said in an irritated voice and shakes his head. "Why do you even need to know?" 

"I just want to make you feel better." 

"What?" 

"Are you deaf?" You laughed. "I said I just want to make you feel better. It just looked like you are carrying a big burden and I just wanna help." 

You always saw Chanwoo with his friends. You always saw them around campus every break and lunch. Lately you noticed that Chanwoo would just stare blankly into air while looking like he is contemplating on something. So here you are trying to pry the reason out of him. You don't have any bad intention, you are just curious, why would a baseball superstar looked so sad when he already had everything?  

You moved a little closer to Chanwoo and raised your hand, introducing yourself, telling him your name. You did not wait for Chanwoo and you just grab his hand for a hand shake. Chanwoo was grinning now. 

Chanwoo shook his head. You are still holding each other's hand, "Chanwoo Jung." 

You vigorously shakes his hand and let it go. "You are crazy," he burst out laughing because of the current situation. 

"I know, I heard that a lot," you just winked. "So would you mind telling me now what's bothering you? Others may not notice but I can see that there is something, Jung." 

He just smiled and shakes his head. It took him a few seconds and a sigh before caving in "you're right, I am lonely." 

"See! Let me tell you something about me, I am never wrong, Chanwoo Jung." 


	2. 🦋 II - Worthwhile

Chanwoo can't believe it. He was awestruck by how you cracked his code in a short period of time. You notice something that everyone seems to missed even the people who are close to him. 

Chanwoo knew you as the campus butterfly. The one who would ditch her class just to go to different places to satisfy your wanderlust. And he admired you for that. He only knew a handful of things about you and he knew that you don't really know him that well. So how can you know about what he feel? Was he being too obvious about it? 

Was he really that bothered to everything that is happening around him? He just can't shrug his thoughts off. Maybe these are just small things that are stressing him out but these small things are piling up and leading him to overthink things and that is the reason why he sometimes stare at nothing in particular. 

"Care to tell me the reasons? Is it a lot? I'm willing to listen." You are already pouting while staring at him. 

You are acting like everything is so easy and he is not used to it. He is not used to talk about his problem to anyone. And he wondered if this is the reason why everyone like you? Because you always brings your light atmosphere? You are very persistent and Chanwoo really admire that. 

You are just trying to help and Chanwoo is not that bad to just push you away if you just wanted to help right? What you did was a big help. And beside you seem so harmless in Chanwoo's eyes. 

"Well I'm losing my interest in baseball so there's that," he sighed. He has been feeling this since last year.  

Chanwoo has been playing baseball since he was a kid. He grew up wanting to be a baseball player but as the time pass by he was contemplating if he really did the right choice. If baseball is really something that he wanted to do. He is losing interest but he don't want to think of the time that he played was wasted. He wanted to continue playing but doing something you are not passionate enough is tiring. 

"And another thing, I am failing one of my subject and you know as a varsity player I can't fail or I won't be able to participate on the next game season." 

You are silent for a moment. You look at him and smiled a little, "well I don't know what to say because I am not supposed to say anything. You're not asking a question, all you just need is to vent it out and I'm all ears, Jung." 

"Thanks, butterfly" 

"Butterfly?"  

"Well that's what everyone is calling you right?" Chanwoo looked at you and smiled. 

"Anyway," you start as you stood up and fix your bag, "this coming semester break I'm going to spread my wings and fly, you wanna come with me?" 

"Spread your wings and fly?" 

You roll your eyes and smile "I'm going to travel, wanna come? So you can unwind a little and lift that burden out of your shoulder." 

"What good will it make? Numbing the pain will only prolong the agony." Chanwoo replied nonchalantly. 

"You know, it's good to have something to divert your attention for a while. Stop thinking of your problems for a moment and take a break. Think about it again after you took a break and trust me the difference is you will feel a little more positive." 

"You are a very optimistic girl, aren't you?" he smiled. 

You are now standing in front of him and as the sun is shining from behind you, Chanwoo thought of you as an angel. Maybe you are really an angel sent from above to help him get through this. 

"So do you wanna join me?" 

He shakes his head and smiled. "I'll think about it." Chanwoo stood up as well and started to leave. Maybe he will really think about it. 

_Fast forward to next week…  _

It is finally the last day of the final week and the break will start soon. So you happily went to school. You are skipping while humming a song and smiling at everyone. It's like a habit for you to smile at everyone to radiate optimism. Everyone was greeting you when you entered. You are used to it since you are a really have a friendly aura. The only thing that you want is to share the world in your perspective to people and that is the reason why you love taking pictures. Because photographs can capture the exact same moment and it can help you relieve the feelings.  

You started browsing on the photos from your phone while walking out of the building after you submitted your papers. It's the last day of the semester. You only went to the university to pass a few papers. " _Finally_ ," you thought " _I was able to survive another semester._ " 

You are silently laughing at the few photos you took when you did not notice that you almost bump into someone but thanks to his fast reflex you did not fall since he was able to hold you. 

"Sorry" You looked up and greeted by smiling Chanwoo.  

"Hey," you greeted him as you put your phone back to your bag. 

You haven't talked to Chanwoo ever since your encounter last week. Well it was actually the exam week so you did not expect to see him. 

"Look at where you are going." Chanwoo laughed and shakes his head "I've been thinking about your offer, butterfly. Will your escapades covers the whole semester break?" 

"It depends. When I am traveling the first days are always planned and the following days are not." 

"You said you wanted to make me feel better," Chanwoo stared at you. "Why?" 

"There you go again on your overthinking lane" you said as you flick his forehead and laughed. "No hidden agendas I promise. I just want to help you unwind. And besides, I need a travel buddy." 

"Why? You don't have any friends that can fill up the spot?" 

"They already planned their breaks since the start of the semester so I don't have any." 

Chanwoo laughed, "Okay then, I'm coming with you." 

"Perfect! Meet me at the South Terminal Station on Tuesday." You said as you smiled. 

"Did you already planned this escapade?" 

"I told you before, Jung. First days are always planned." You are still smiling, "just wear something comfortable." 

"Where are we going anyway?" Chanwoo asked as he stared at you. 

"It's a surprise!"  

He shakes his head. "Okay. Do I need to do anything else?" 

"Nope, that's all." You answered while smiling from ear to ear. You are so excited for this trip. "I'll leave now. I'll just tell you the time, okay? bye!" 

You turn around and about to walk when Chanwoo stopped you. You stopped for a moment and turn to face Chanwoo again. 

"South Terminal Station? You mean we are gonna take the bus?" Chanwoo asked with his brow frowned.  

"Yes, do you have a problem with that? Hey, don't tell me you haven't tried to ride a bus yet?" 

You laughed as Chanwoo kept his silence. Chanwoo is just looking at you while you laughed hard about the new found information. 

You walked closer to Chanwoo and whispered, "say good bye to your car for the meantime. And don't worry I know how to commute." You smiled at him. 

"You are making me regret my decision, butterfly." 

You laughed, "We'll do this adventure my way superstar. And don't worry we're gonna make it worthwhile." 

 


	3. 🦋 III - First Trip

You are sitting in the waiting area while waiting for Chanwoo to arrive. You fixed your cap and stared at everyone getting on the bus. 

Chanwoo is taking too long. You have been waiting for him for more than half an hour now. His last message that he sent was about him doing something and he would arrive a little later.  

A shadow loomed over you after you checked your watch. Chanwoo is in front of you. You stood up and check what Chanwoo is wearing. Black shirt, black pants and a white converse. You suppressed a laugh because of your identical outfits. 

"Sorry I'm late, Yunhyeong-hyung asked me to drive him to the grocery store this morning." 

"It's okay, let's go!" You linked your arms on his and pulled him to the bus. 

"You know I can just drive anywhere you want." he said in his annoyed tone. 

"Aww, come on superstar, where's the fun in that?" you laughed. "Commuting is fun, especially when you are alone." 

"Can you just tell me where are we even going?" he said in an annoyed tone but Chanwoo doesn't looked annoyed. 

"We are going to an amusement park!" you answered in almost a yell. Ignoring everyone who are now looking at you not making you embarrass but instead you just smiled at them. 

"Aren't you scared?" Chanwoo asked once you guys settled on your seat on the bus. 

"Scared of what?" you looked at Chanwoo because of his question. 

"Traveling alone, everyone on campus knows that you always travel alone." 

You just smiled, "Of course I am but I'm used to it already," you sighed dismissing the topic. "Let's talk about you. We are traveling because of you, so how are you enjoying your break so far?" 

"Awful," Chanwoo answered before pulling up his phone and headphones. "I want to sleep on the whole drive there, wake me up when we arrive." 

"Okay," you answered as you roll your eyes and look outside the window instead. 

"I've been here a couple of times," Chanwoo told you when you arrived at the amusement park and preparing to line up to enter. "Bobby hyung loves this place," he added when you finally get in. 

"My brother loves this place as well. We used to go here. Though my sister loves nature more so she prefers beaches and mountains" you told Chanwoo as you are mindlessly walking. You scan the place looking at every booth and rides that you can see, thinking of all the memories with your siblings. 

"Let's go ride that one!" You said cheerfully and pulled Chanwoo before you could tell more about yourself. This trip is not about you. It's about Chanwoo. You remind yourself. 

After riding on almost all the rides, you decided to take a rest and eat. "Are you sure you don't want this" you asked as you are putting the sauces on the corn dog. 

Chanwoo just shakes his head and smiled. Showing his dimples. "I don't eat foods with ketchup or tomatoes." 

"You know, it's not mandatory to put the sauce on corn dogs. You can also eat it as it is. Are you really sure you don't want this?" You asked as you pay for the food that you have bought. Chanwoo was the one who held the water bottle. 

"You know, I really love corn dogs, you can't usually cook this at home and I can only eat it when I'm out and not everyone likes this as well." You said as you took a bite. "What do you want then? I want to eat ice cream after this, how about you? Want to eat pizza or something?" 

Chanwoo just nods and you went to the first pizza stand that you can see. After eating you and Chanwoo are walking around mindlessly while holding the ice cream that you currently bought. 

"Let's talk about you," you finally starts, "when did you even lose your passion in baseball? I thought it's your lifeline?" 

You noticed that Chanwoo wasn't very talkative. He don't talk unless you don't start the conversation. He's so reserved but you know that it's only his facade since he can also be loud with his friends.  

"I don't really know when did this start, I just woke up one day and suddenly I don't want to attend practice anymore. It feels like I don't have any motivation to play it anymore. I even ditch two practice games." 

"Did you feel like you regretted playing? Or did it even crossed your mind that you wasted all your life playing baseball?" 

"I don't regret playing it's just that everything just seems so tiring right now. I still want to play but I also feel like I should sit back on the next season." 

You were both done eating and are just walking mindlessly. You are just listening to Chanwoo's story.  

"I finally decided to man up and told coach to let me off this coming season but he declined. He still wants me to play and he said that this is really an important season because there will be a high chance that I can be invited to the national league. I did not answer him and I just left." 

"He did not contact you or tried to talk to you again? What about your teammates?" 

"I am avoiding my coach. I don't want the team to be affected by my stubbornness. And everyone in the team is so stressed right now I don't want to burden them anymore." 

"Then what happened? Did he just let you off the hook? If it is really an important season I think your teammates will need you." 

"I know and I don't want them to stress over this. But me being on the team right now is a big burden. I always lose focus and I can't take our games seriously anymore. Me playing for the team will bring more harm than good." 

You get his point. The best thing to do is for him to take a rest until he find his passion in playing again. 

"How bad it is? Like there will be no one who can convince you to play again right now?" 

"It's not that bad, I just want to take a rest and maybe make my mind think of other stuffs as well." 

"Okay then, I can help you in bringing back your passion in playing." You smiled. 

"How?" Chanwoo just stare at you with a shock evident on his face. 

"You can do it on your own but I will just guide you, Jung." 

You saw it in his eyes. The whole thing bothered him but while he was telling it to you, you noticed that he don't looked like how it bothered him before. 

"Why?" Chanwoo stopped walking. "Why would you want to help me? I won't believe your no hidden agenda. Because I know there is a reason for it." 

You just smiled and told him to wait while you check on your tote bag. You took out your black notebook and handed it to him.  

"I have a bucket list you know. And part of my bucket lists is to bring back the happiness in Chanwoo Jung's eyes." It was written on the very last of the lists. You pointed it out for him to see it clearly. "I wrote that before when I first noticed you. You are part of my life mission now." 

"I don't know if I should be happy that I am part of your list or if I should be mad that you indirectly told me you are going to interfere with my life from now on." he said as he closed the notebook and handed it back to you with a confuse expression. 

"You said yes to this trip so you gave me a consent to mess with your life," you grinned as you put the notebook back to your bag. "This is the point of no return superstar. You are now stuck with me." 

 _'This girl is unbelievable_ ,' Chanwoo thought and shakes his head. Your intention were clear and there is really nothing wrong with it. You just want to help. Now he finally knew the reason why, he is now part of your bucket list. He saw the words " _bring back the happiness in Chanwoo Jung's eyes_ " scribbled at the very end of the page. It was written outside the margin like it was squeezed in there. 

You are walking ahead of Chanwoo as you hold his hand. It was getting dark and you are pulling him to ride other rides.  

"We had our school trip here before," you starts, while still ahead of Chanwoo and you are pulling him along. "It was the first time I went here without my siblings. I didn't tell my friends that I am not excited about the school trip. This is our safe place, I always wanted to come here with my siblings. That was the time that they started to become busy and they rarely got the time to come with me here. Before we left the bus, our teacher gave us a task. She told us to find the magic and know what it is. So of course with every ride and every stalls that we went to we asked them about the magic. We thought that the staffs would really know since they worked here. But some said they don't know the magic and some said we should find the magic on our own." 

That got Chanwoo thinking. What is the magic you are talking about here? 

"O-kay," unsure of what to say Chanwoo just shrugged. You are really unpredictable. He thought that he can read you but then you always surprise him every time by doing something unexpected. 

He watched you let go as you went to the stall for the mini donuts you have been craving for. You went back to him holding a small paper bag.  

You and Chanwoo settled on a bench and eat the mini donuts that you just bought. 

He noticed that you always share everything. You love talking. "Continue your story," he nudges your side and eat a piece of mini donut. 

"Oh," you eat another piece before continuing your story. "We got back to our respective buses and we are all so tired. At some point we have forgotten about the task since we really had fun and we enjoyed ourselves. We didn't find the answer so we just gave up. Our teacher asked if we found out the magic, of course we all said no." 

"What was it? The magic," Chanwoo can't help but asked as you finished the donuts and stares at the people passing by. 

"Our teacher asked if we are tired and we said yes. And she asked if we would still come back here after we experienced everything. We answered yes. We'll surely come back here because of the memories we made. And our teacher told us that was the magic. If we only went here to be tired then why would we comeback? She said that we will comeback to make more memories since what we have experienced here is an unmatchable happiness." 

"Are you happy?" Chanwoo can't help but asked. Your eyes were locked at nothing in particular but you are smiling while remembering everything that happened before. 

"Yes I am," you answered then looked at Chanwoo with a smile plastered on your face.  

You decided to call it a night since you are both tired. Chanwoo is tired but he had fun. There was never really a dull moment with you. 

"Hey Chanwoo," you called him after a few seconds of silence. "You know what will make me happier?" 

"What?" 

"It's crossing something out of my bucket list tonight." You smiled as you get the notebook and showed him while pointing at what was scribbled on it. 

 

_Dance in the middle of a crowded place.  _

Chanwoo just laughed. You are really unpredictable and crazy. 

"So will you?" You asked as you returned the notebook back. "I have been wanting to do this since the last time I went here but it was raining and now I think everything is perfect since I am not alone." 

You pulled Chanwoo before he can even utter his response. You run up in the middle of the place then you took out your phone and earphones out and give him one earbud. You are smiling while doing it and there is something in your eyes that made him feel warm inside. He didn't even thought that something unusual could really make a person happy.  

Chanwoo did not question your actions. The spark in your eyes were enough. Your smile made him smile. It was very contagious. 

He stepped back, bowed and offered his hand like a perfect gentleman. You giggled before doing a curtsy and accepted his hand. 

You and Chanwoo started dancing and you laughed. People are looking at the two of you but you did not care and just continue dancing. 

Chanwoo is someone who would not agree to do something embarrassing in public but right now he don't care. He just thought that he wanted to keep that smile on your face and you smiling is the only thing that matters right now. 


	4. 🦋 IV - Demons

You and Chanwoo have been hanging out for the past days. It has been two days since your last escapade. Chanwoo was woken up by the sound of his phone ringing. He grunts as he checked his phone. He sits down on his bed when he saw that you are calling him. He was so confused as to why you are calling him at 3 in the morning. 

"I can't sleep," you told him as he answered the call. 

"It's easy, you can lay down, close your eyes-" sleepiness is so evident on his voice and he haven't finished his sentence yet you cut him off. 

"I can't sleep so I went out of the house and now I am on my way to your apartment. Get up and get ready." 

"Are you out of your mind?! IT IS THREE IN THE FUCKING MORNING!" Chanwoo immediately stand. You don't sound like you are joking and in the few times he spend time with you he knows that you are always doing things unexpectedly. 

"Where are you?" He immediately grab his hoodie that was on the floor he is wearing a sweatpants since he just slept. 

"I'm on the bus right now but I think I'll be able to arrive within 5 minutes. I know your address but I am not really sure which floor are you living and your building." 

He immediately went out of his room. All the pizza box was still sitting on the living room. It's one of those rare days when Yunhyeong wasn't around the dorm. It's one of those times that they can play all day and leave all of their trash in the living room. 

"Wait for me on the lobby, I'm on my way." He was already running out of the door with his keys. He don't know what was going on with your head and why are you outside at this hour. 

 _Maybe she has insomnia,_ he thought. And he can't just leave you or tell you off since you are already on your way to his dorm. 

He was rubbing his eyes as he arrived at the lobby. He looked around and he saw you sitting on the sofa. 

You saw him and you approached him slowly. "I'm sorry for bothering you at this hour. It's just that I can't sleep." 

"Can't you just wait until you fall asleep again?" Chanwoo blurted out slightly scolding. He is not annoyed. He is not sleepy anymore and the only thing that is bothering him was you. The way you looked bothered him. Your eyes looks so tired. 

And it bothered Chanwoo more that it should. And he can't bring himself to ask why. He just stare at you. 

You smiled weakly as an answer to his question. "I usually roam around and sit on the bus whenever I can't sleep. I don't know, I just felt the need to visit you since it has been days since I last saw you. Right, that's the reason." You blurted out but it sounded like you are convincing yourself more instead of Chanwoo.  

"So where do you want to go?" Chanwoo asked instead of asking you more questions. You look like you are not in the right state of mind to answer his question. 

"We can go to the 24 hour cafe at the corner of the road there," you pointed out. 

Chanwoo just nod and started walking out of the building. You are walking side by side and Chanwoo keeps on staring at you every once in a while and you are just staring ahead with your hands inside of the pockets of your hoodie. 

You hums a familiar song. And you looked so calm and Chanwoo finally find the urge to ask, "So you do really have an insomnia?" 

You slightly looked at Chanwoo then stare back ahead.  

"Some nights I can't sleep no matter how hard I try," you smiled again but it's still there, the sadness was still there. "I get frustrated when I can't sleep and when I get frustrated I just.." you sighed and stopped talking. 

He didn't get to ask more since you have arrived at the cafe. 

The cafe is empty since it is already late. "I want something cold to drink, you?" You asked Chanwoo and he answered, "ice americano is fine." 

You just nodded and place the order. He assumed that you will be paying for the coffee since he did not bring anything just himself, his phone and his keys. 

As soon as your order arrived, Chanwoo watch as you asked the server if you can sit on the second floor which is the rooftop of the cafe. The server apologize and said that the rooftop is currently close since it is already late. 

You just nodded and Chanwoo called your name and hold your hand trying to calm you down. He can't understand why would you want to go up if you two can just go out. 

It looks like the server notice that you look sad so he just told you that they can open it for you. You muttered a soft 'thank you' and the server left to request to open the rooftop. 

You two went upstairs and sit at one of the tables located at the far end. Chanwoo watched as you bring out a pen and your black notebook where your bucket list was written. 

You hold your drink close to you as you scanned the whole area. Then you leaned down on the table taking a sip from your drink without even touching the glass while your hands are in the pockets of your hoodie. 

"I'm really sorry for dragging you out here at this hour," you softly said as you leaned back on your seat. 

"You said I signed up for this right? So of course I can't complain," Chanwoo answered smiling. 

You just grinned, "yeah right." You shake your head, "sorry again." 

"You don't have to say sorry. I bet even if I was the one who dragged you in here you will come with me."  

You just smiled. Your smile told Chanwoo that you will, you will definitely come. 

You just sighed as you stared up to look at the night sky. There's still a lot of stars. 

"Those stains in your sleeves, where did you get that?" Chanwoo asks as he took another sip. He is not used to you not talking. 

"Oh these ones?" you chuckles as you holds up your stained sleeves. "I paint." 

"Really?"  

You nods, "It's my hobby whenever I am home and I don't have anything to do." 

"I just found out that you're Junhoe's cousin and he told me that he rarely see you whenever he come home. Why is that?" 

"I rarely stay at the rest house so we can't always see each other and I'm always at my room and I don't usually go out," your words come out as a whisper as your eyes were locked on your drink. "And whenever I came out no one's around anymore. They are either asleep or they are out." 

"Your parents?" 

"They have separated a long time ago, my mom's currently in Australia and my dad already have his own family," you shrugs. "My siblings? They're busy with work. My sister is currently with my mom in Australia and my brother is now living in Canada as a doctor." 

You shifts on your seat as you grabs your drink wrapping it in a tissue before you took a sip.  

"How about you, where are your parents?" you curiously asked Chanwoo. 

"They are currently based in the US right now. And I am currently living alone. I am an only child and I wished I had a sibling I can talk to or be with since this situation made me feel alone."  

"But you have your friends who can easily fill the spot," you answered. 

"Yeah I do," he didn't get to wallow in sorrow so much since he got his hyungs and he is currently living with them. 

"You guys don't have any trip this break? Don't tell me I am hogging you from your friends. I don't want to steal you away from your friends." 

"Nah, they all went and spent their break with their family." This is the first semester break where they spend it separately. They always go camping every break. "Yunhyeong hyung is spending his time with his family since his dad just got back, Jinhwan hyung and Junhoe decided to go to Japan, Bobby hyung went to America to visit his nephew. The only people left are Hanbin hyung and Donghyuk so we decided to play video games all day so when you called I only got 2 hours of sleep." 

You just shake your head with a chuckle. You turned to your drink again as if you are avoiding Chanwoo. "So in your house, doesn't it get lonely since you are alone?" 

"I stay in the dorm. It's less lonely there since I'm with the guys." Chanwoo smiled, he don't know how easy it is for him to talk about this things to you and the way he can easily tell you honestly about all of these. 

You just hum. You wordlessly grab your notebook and pencil. 

Chanwoo didn't bother to ask what are you doing. He thinks you need silence. He was sipping his coffee while watching you scribble something on your notebook. You are so engrossed in what you are doing that your drink has already been long forgotten. 

You put down your pen a few minutes later then went to the restroom. Chanwoo being the curious guy that he is decided to check and take a look at what you made. 

There's a drawing of a flower and the words 'my demons are tying me down in silk chains' were written at the bottom part of the page. 

He had no idea why you would write it. But he knew what ' _demons_ ' are. He has his own demons and he guess you have yours as well and it is the reason to keep you up at night. 


	5. 🦋 V - Secret

"Can you drive now?" you asked Chanwoo as you are walking back to his dorm. 

"I don't mind, do you have any place you have in mind?" unsure about his question since you look really sleepy. 

"Nothing in particular, I just want to drive around." you said in almost inaudible whisper.  

You and Chanwoo were driving around the city since you don't have any place to go to. Chanwoo kept on glancing at you on the passenger seat, you have fallen as sleep as soon as he began driving.  

You just told Chanwoo to drive around and the sun started rising, he checked the time on his dashboard and he saw that it's already 5 in the morning. 

You are hugging yourself as you sleep in an uncomfortable position so Chanwoo decided to just bring you home.  

He don't know if anyone is actually looking for you at home. Does your siblings even know that you sneak out late at night? Or does anyone knows you left last night? You sneaking out at that time is dangerous but he can't really blame you if something is really bothering you. 

He glanced at you one last time before trying to call your name to wake you up. You didn't wake up so he tried to call Junhoe instead to ask where you live. 

"Why?" Junhoe answered.  

"Your cousin, the butterfly, tell me her address."  

"Dude, I told you to stop hitting on my cousin because you are not her type," Junhoe blabbed in an annoyed tone. 

"I am not hitting on her, I told you we're friends. Now tell me the address so I can take her home." 

"Oh? Why is she with you anyway? Chanwoo, I swear to god did you-"  

"I didn't, now tell me the address or I'm taking her to my house." Chanwoo cuts Junhoe. 

Junhoe sigh and whispered ' _Why is she even out so early in the morning_ ' before telling Chanwoo the address. 

Chanwoo ended the call and started driving again to the address and took another glance on your sleeping form. 

Chanwoo arrived at the rest house and he saw that the gate was open and there's a guy standing by the gate with his phone on his ear. 

Chanwoo get out of the car as the guy looked at him while ending the call. 

Chanwoo politely greeted the guy and asked if he is living at the house. Chanwoo knows the rest house as Junhoe's family house whenever everyone in the family is in the country and since Junhoe told him to drop you off here Chanwoo assumed that everyone is here. 

As the guy answered yes, Junhoe's loud voice made them halt their conversation. 

"Jung Chanwoo my friend," Junhoe said as he was walking out of the house looking like he just got back from a jog. 

"I thought you are still in Japan?" Chanwoo asked as Junhoe approach him with a man hug. 

"I just got home this morning, why are you two even together?" Junhoe asked as he tried peeking at the car to see you. 

"Ah by the way, this is Top hyung and this is Chanwoo" Junhoe introduced the guy to Chanwoo and Chanwoo shakes his hand before answering Junhoe's question. 

"We had coffee," Chanwoo answered while he nervously look at the guy, it finally clicked him, this guy is your brother. 

"Your friend? It's still too early for a visit though, you going somewhere Junhoe?" the guy asked Junhoe as he acknowledged Chanwoo's presence. 

Junhoe explained the situation and your brother looks frantic. Chanwoo was expecting that reaction since it doesn't really look nice that he is taking you home at this hour and you are still sleeping on his car. 

"So where is she?" your brother ask.  

"She's sleeping," Chanwoo answered as they walk to the car and Chanwoo opened the passenger seat and your brother carried you out of the car.  

"What's this?" a woman came out of the house and Chanwoo assumed that she is your sister since your facial features are similar. 

"I'll take her to her room and don't worry everything's fine," your brother answered as he carry you inside. 

Junhoe invited you inside and Chanwoo can't disagree especially since your sister has been eyeing Chanwoo since she saw him. 

Chanwoo is not scared since he knows that he did nothing wrong. Maybe the only thing that was wrong is the time.  

Your sister introduced herself as they got inside. "Was she with you the whole night?" she asked as he motion for Chanwoo to sit. 

Chanwoo was not intimidated and he just politely answered, "She called me and we met for a coffee." 

It wasn't a lie but he felt that he can't tell them what they did in the past days. 

Your sister just nod her head and offer a coffee or water. Chanwoo politely decline as he saw Junhoe came out from the kitchen. 

"I'm sorry for the trouble that my sister has caused," your brother told Chanwoo as he walked down the stairs. 

"It's okay, no harm done," Chanwoo answered as he caught your sister eyeing him curiously.  

"Come on man, give me a ride back to the dorm I forget to get something." 

Chanwoo nodded and politely said his goodbye to your siblings.  

As they got in Chanwoo's car Junhoe asked his question, "should I tell the hyungs about this for a celebration?" 

"What are you talking about, we're just friends." Chanwoo chuckled as he answered. 

"Someone told me that they saw the two of you at the amusement park last week and you two looked happy." 

"Well your cousin always look happy, Junhoe." 

"Yeah," Junhoe answered as he looked outside the window. "Sometimes she locked herself inside her room the whole day or other time you can't see even her shadow since she always wander around. But one thing is she loves to go out at night," he sighed. 

"Her siblings doesn't know it, that she sometimes sneak at late at night. The only thing they knew is she is sleeping in her room or she's with me when she go out traveling." He adds after a pause, "I am not able to go with her sometimes since I always got caught up with practice but she assured me that she can handle herself. I know she won't do something stupid so I always cover her up whenever she go out because I trust her. But now, I'm having second thoughts since she is already bothering someone else." 

Chanwoo just chuckled. Junhoe acts like your older brother since you started living alone in your apartment and Chanwoo can understand the over protectiveness in Junhoe. 

"You know, we all thought that she lacks attention that's why she always sneak out or go to places without telling us so her mom decided to lose her chains but I think she's enjoying it too much." Junhoe said as he shakes his head. 

You don't look like someone who wants attention in Chanwoo's eyes. You just enjoy your time being alone he thought. Maybe you just love to express yourself differently. 

Chanwoo just listened to Junhoe's rant since no one can really shut Junhoe up. 

But one thing is embedded on his mind, it is those moments that he shared with you. 


	6. 🦋 VI - Masterpiece

"Chanwoo-ya, Jung Chanwoo" Hanbin whined as he entered Chanwoo's room.  

"What?" he answered in his irritated voice. 

"Why are you so pissed, I'm here to give you this invitation for tomorrow's event. What happen to you, you are slowly becoming a panda. I told you to stop playing that stupid game," Hanbin rant then chuckled, "are you even sleeping?" 

"No," he answered, eyes not leaving the screen of his computer. He managed to get a sleep earlier before the hyungs got back to the dorm and started screaming.  

It was late in the morning and Chanwoo is still waiting for your call. He hasn't heard anything from you since yesterday after he dropped you off home. 

"Well, I will be off with Jinhwan hyung today we are going to pick Bobby hyung in the airport. And maybe go to the mall to buy something for tomorrow." 

Chanwoo just nod and focus on playing.  

"By the way, the event needs a plus one so be sure to bring someone with you," Hanbin said before leaving Chanwoo's room. 

It is an art exhibit that was arranged by the art students from your university. It is a charity event and some of Hanbin's photographs will also be displayed so they decided to check it out.  

He got bored so he get out of his room and found Yunhyeong and Donghyuk in the living room playing playstation. 

Donghyuk handed him the controller and he just shake his head and throws himself on the sofa, he wanted to sleep and he is praying that Junhoe won't come home tonight so he can sleep. But he spoke too soon. He grunt when he heard Junhoe singing as he enter the dorm and dropped his bag on the floor. 

Junhoe sits on the sofa beside him, "I rushed back home since Hanbin hyung won't stop guilt tripping me to attend the exhibit and check his work." 

Chanwoo's phone vibrated and he check and saw that you texted him asking him where he is. 

He answered that he was at the dorm. Instead of a reply he received a call for you and he immediately answered. 

"Do you want to come with me at the mall? Let's go shopping." 

"I'll be there in 10 minutes, wait for me," Chanwoo get up before he ended the call. 

"Where are you going?" Junhoe asked as he stood up. 

"I'll go out to have some peace and quiet that I can't have since you are here," Chanwoo answered that makes Yunhyeong and Donghyuk to laugh. 

Chanwoo arrived at the mall in 10 minutes and he started looking for you since you told him that you are at the shop looking for scented candles. 

Chanwoo saw you immediately, your bucket red hat helping him to spot you in the crowd. He studied you for a second. White shirt, black jeans and white chuck taylor with your tote bag. 

You look up and saw Chanwoo so you smiled and wave at him. 

There you go again, with your big smile and optimistic eyes.  

"Chanwoo!" he was caught off guard as you run up to him for a bear hug, it took him a second before he hugs you back. 

"I think I remember signing up to be your travel buddy not your shopping slave, butterfly." He told you jokingly. 

You laughed, "Don't worry I won't be shopping for clothes. I just need to buy new paints and stuffs." 

You drag him around the mall. You never mentioned what happen after he dropped you off yesterday.  

You bought all the things that you need and asked Chanwoo to eat. 

"Do you remember the art exhibit that I have mentioned before?" Chanwoo said as they finished eating.  

"You mean art student exhibit?" Chanwoo nodded.  

"Why?" 

"It's tomorrow and Hanbin hyung told me to bring a plus one. Wanna come with me?"  

"Sure," you answered immediately, "but is it a formal event? because if it is then I won't come." 

Chanwoo laughs, "it's not I think they wanted it to be semi-formal and it is open for everyone." 

"That's great then," you answered as you stand up since you are all done eating. You pulled Chanwoo up with you. "Let's go home." 

Chanwoo found out that you sneak out again and that information didn't shock him anymore. He offered to drive you home and you agreed. 

"So where will I drop you off?" Chanwoo asked, not sure if you are still staying in your family house or in your apartment. 

"Just drop me off a few blocks before the rest house please," you softly said. 

"Why?" Chanwoo asked with a furrowed brows. 

"I'm on an early curfew because of what happen last time, Junhoe sold me off to my brother, and they can't see me with you," you answered. 

"What about the exhibit? It's tomorrow night? Will they allow you to go?" Chanwoo asked, he is worried that you may get scolded for sneaking out. 

"Don't worry about it, Junhoe will be there so they would probably let me off" you assured Chanwoo. 

"Okay then," he nods, "I'll pick you up at 6:30 since the event will probably start at 7." Chanwoo answered and continue driving. 

He stopped the car a few blocks before your house. Chanwoo is worried about you sneaking out but seeing like you doesn't care about the curfew relieved him a little.  

"Thank you for today, Chan" you gave him a mocked salute.  

"Why do you keep on giving me nicknames?" he asked then laughed. You just laughed and wave at him. Then you turn around to walk home. As soon as Chanwoo saw you near on your house gate he started the car and drove off. 

Chanwoo woke up by a loud noise at the dorm the next day. He checked his phone and he saw your text assuring him that your brother gave you the permission to go to the exhibit. 

He went out of his room and found Junhoe, Jinhwan and Yunhyeong at the kitchen.  

They muttered good morning to each other and then he grab a plate to eat. 

Yunhyeong pushed the Eggs and bacon lightly to Chanwoo. Junhoe gave him a pancake and Jinhwan passed the syrup. This is their type of mornings silently passing everything to each other. 

After breakfast since Bobby just came back from the States and all the boys are now lounging at the living room doing their own things. When he received a text from you. 

_My brother doesn't want me to go out :( I don't know what changed his mind but I am sure it's Junhoe's fault.  _

He immediately types a reply. 

_So you can't come? I shouldn't have sent you home the last time so you won't have your curfew.  _ __

Chanwoo is feeling responsible for your curfew since he was the one who sent you home that time you sneak out. 

 _No, it's not your fault. I always have my curfew. They wanted to be a little strict now since they found out that I'm sneaking out. Remind me to smack Junhoe's head later._ You replied. 

Chanwoo: 

_ Noted.  _

_But you will pick me up later okay? I don't have a car and I can't drive so you better pick me up. :)_

Your replied made Chanwoo smiled a little. 

Chanwoo felt a little sorry for you since he knows how much you love wandering and having the curfew right now will stop you from going too far places. 

- 

"Sorry, I'm late," you told Chanwoo as soon as you got in his car, "my brother's home and I thought he will go out for dinner tonight. They are treating me like a kid again." you added as you pouted. 

"I'm worried that you might get scolded later," Chanwoo said as he started driving. 

"Don't worry, as long as Junhoe's there I'm gonna be okay, I'll just tell them that Junhoe invited me there." You told him wanting to stop him from worrying. 

"I can see all our school mates in here," Chanwoo heard you mumble as soon as you entered the place.  

Chanwoo looked around the place, Hanbin's photographs are all around the place. His hyung had interesting subjects and some are their candid shots taken by Hanbin. He saw the boys hanging around together. 

"I'll take a look around. You can meet your friends." You smiled as you began to start walking backwards with your eyes still on Chanwoo. He just nodded and smile, you turn around and then he walked to his friends. 

The boys talked a bit and decided to roam around separately since they have all invited a date. Chanwoo take a look around to check on different pictures and then he bump into some acquaintance and talked a little. 

Chanwoo decided to look for you after checking on other displays. 

Chanwoo found you standing in front of a portrait. He noticed that you are with Junhoe and you guys are talking about the portrait in front of you, it was a photo of him, back when he made his first goal.

You heard a cough and you look around and saw Chanwoo.  

"Hey," he greeted you, "found something interesting?" 

You shake your head.  

"Dude, tell your girlfriend to buy one of Hanbin hyungs photo so he can treat us out for dinner." Junhoe exclaimed with a laugh then he left them alone. 

"Sorry about that," Chanwoo just look at you telling you to continue. "Junhoe with his mouth I mean, you know him since you're his friend, he lost a screw on his head so he's like that." 

You both laugh in understanding. But deep in his thought he wished he was as good as Junhoe in decoding the messages behind art pieces. Because you are an art. Your eyes shows different emotions that are hard to decipher. 

Because for Chanwoo you are a masterpiece that he wants to understand and keep.


	7. 🦋 VII - Bucket List

The exhibit finally ended and Chanwoo introduced you to the guys. You already know his friends because they are your school mates, you saw them hanging around a lot and Junhoe, your cousin belongs to their group. 

"Hi, my name is Jiwon Kim but you can call me Bobby." His friend introduce himself and ask for a hand shake.  

"I know you all actually, no need for introduction." You answered with a smile to avoid the one by one hand shake. You already know them and you are not really comfortable in shaking hands because your hands are always cold.  

"Didn't know you had a thing for quiet girls, Chanwoo," said the guy in blonde hair. Song Mino if you are not mistaken. 

 _Rude_ , you thought. But you kept your straight face not letting them see that you are affected by what he said. You find it really rude since you don't know him personally. He shouldn't be talking like that since you are still with them even if it's not directed to you.  

It's nothing but you are really sensitive on how other people talks about you. And that's what a lot of people don't know. You are so observant and that's not good especially since you can easily see if other people are talking about you. 

You can't be transparent to everyone and you are so transparent a few seconds ago. You know that Chanwoo noticed and he is figuring you out. 

"Tell me you didn't sneak out again right?" Junhoe asked. 

You just nodded and smile. Wanting to smack your cousin. _Why does he needs to ask that?_   

"So are you two kind of like dating each other now?" Lisa asked, she is Donghyuk's girlfriend. 

"No we are just friends." Chanwoo answered. 

"Why? You don't like Chanwoo?" Jinu jokingly asked as he laughed. 

"Don't mind them," Yunhyeong said as he noticed that you may feel uncomfortable with the topic. 

"We'll be having a dinner at the restaurant, you should join us," Hanbin said with a small smile. You don't know Hanbin personally but you are afraid of him. He just look like someone who would immediately snap even with a little mistake.  

Chanwoo has a very big set of friends. And it's no surprise since he is a baseball superstar.  

Chanwoo looked at you asking if you want to join the dinner. You don't really want to go home yet so you just nodded in agreement. 

You found out that the dinner will only consist of you and his hyungs plus their girlfriends. The exhibit was held at a hotel so all of you decided to just eat at the restaurant. 

You arrived at the restaurant and settled on the reserved table. With your friendly personality you are able to get along with everyone. 

Rosé and Lisa, which is Junhoe and Donghyuk's girlfriend are sort of interrogating you about Chanwoo. This is the first time that Chanwoo bought a girl with him. He was always alone. And him bringing a girl as a date on the event is a big news for everyone.  

Everyone was joking about the two of you being a thing but the two of you knows better. 

Your phone rings and you excused yourself to answer the call. And went out. 

Chanwoo was left with the gang and they all bombarded him with questions.  

"Seriously, Chanwoo, are you really dating my cousin? Tell me honestly so I would know how will I act." Junhoe said with his loud voice. 

Everyone was eyeing him curiously and he just chuckled, "I told you we are just friends. No more, no less." 

"How did you even know her? Last time I checked you don't even have a class together, and you haven't even talked before so how?" Junhoe is the one leading the conversation and everyone is just agreeing wanting to pry more answer from the youngest of the group.  

"I just know her that's it. And we talked before you just didn't notice." He answered ending the conversation. 

"Don't you feel something when she smiles, Chanwoo? The perfect girl is already on your side you can't miss this chance." Donghyuk said whining. 

"I don't feel anything. I told you we are just friends." 

"Just let him breathe guys, Chanwoo will tell us if he is dating someone," Bobby said as he is typing on his phone stopping others from pushing the conversation. 

"Go and find her Chanwoo, there's still an after party that we need to attend to." Jinhwan said pushing Chanwoo to stand up and look for you. 

He went out of the restaurant and he did not find you so he walked around. He found you standing near the pool area. He slowed down his pace as he walk closer to you. 

"... I know, I understand. I'll just explain it to her later okay? Can I just stay for a little longer? I am with Junhoe so you don't have to worry about me. And there is an after party, I want to go.." 

Chanwoo stopped and think for a moment if he should give you the privacy or keep listening. But being the curious boy that he is, he decided to stay, you didn't seem to notice him so he listened. 

You let out a frustrated sigh, "Dad it's an exhibit. Tell mom that she don't have to worry about me. My friend have his few works on display and I went to support." you turned silent for a moment and start talking again. "I did, but Top oppa did not allow me to leave. They both allowed me when I told them in the morning but Top oppa take it back in the afternoon. I know, I am wrong," you sound like a robot saying the last part. 

You turns silent again. Listening to the other line. "Will you celebrate the Christmas with us?" you sound so small like you are asking a question that you already know the answer of. 

"Right, of course I understand that you already have your own family now. Okay. Yeah. I understand. Have fun. Bye." 

Chanwoo did not hide as he saw the sadness in your eyes. The more he spends his time with you, the more he sees how transparent you can be yet you always choose to hide it behind a smile. 

"You heard everything?" you asked and Chanwoo just nod his head. 

You strained a smile and shake your head. 

"Tell me what's bothering you," Chanwoo told you as he slowly walk towards you. 

"It's nothing, just my family. We're not like what we're used to be. But don't worry, it doesn't bother me that much." you said as you fake a smile but Chanwoo knows better.  

"There's more, I know. I can see it, don't lie and you know you can tell me everything right?" He can really see it, your eyes gave everything away. Is this really possible? The girl who everyone admired for being so strong and positive looks so broken right now. 

"I don't want to talk about it, Chan," you signed and softly whisper, "I just want to be happy." 

Chanwoo can't understand why did you said it like it was the hardest thing to do? Is being happy really that hard? 

He suddenly thought of an idea. He let go of the topic even if he wanted to know more about it. 

"I know something that's going to make you happy?" 

"What?" you asked him with confusion written all over your face. 

"It's crossing something on your bucket list." Chanwoo answered with a grin showing his dimples.  

And there he saw it. Your smile. With just one flick, the sadness in your eyes is now gone. He softly smiled. He wanted the spark in your eyes back. It pains him to see you sad.  

And he finally admits to himself, he felt something on your smile. Your smile can do wonders and he won't be able to bear it if you ever lose that smile. 

"I'd like that," you said. 

"So what do we do?" 

"Uhm, I want to go camping,"  

"We don't have any camping gears, butterfly so pass. Think of another one." 

"Hmm, I think we can watch the stars tonight." You told him as you look up to the sky. 

You both got off the elevator and grunt when you saw the flight of stairs before you reach the rooftop. 

"Oh come on, I can't take that." You are wearing a sneakers but you being the weakling that you are will probably get tired easily. 

Chanwoo crouched down next to you and asked you to get on his back. 

"You are going to carry me?" you asked Chanwoo in surprise then laugh. 

"This is much better than hear you complain nonstop later," Chanwoo answered as he roll his eyes but a smile not leaving his lips. 

"What a perfect gentleman you are, superstar," you told him as you get on his back and he effortlessly carry you. 

"You weight like a feather. You should eat more." He said while he was climbing of the stairs. 

"Why are you being such a gentleman? Anyway, I'd like to take that as a compliment," you said as you smiled. 

"Well because I AM a GENTLEMAN and IT IS a COMPLIMENT," Chanwoo answered in emphasis, you just laugh. 

You arrived at the rooftop after 5 minutes. You immediately get down and run in the middle of the helipad. 

Chanwoo walk close behind you with a smile on his face.  

Chanwoo watch as you looked back at him with a smile on your face. 

"I want to dance like crazy under the stars." You suddenly blurted out. 

Chanwoo just shakes his head and smile, "Why do you always wants to dance? You're not even good. And if you want to dance like crazy you should go to a club." 

You just took out your phone from your bag and throw your bag aside. "Come on! It is part of my list to dance under the moonlight." 

You just started to play a song and you did dance like you are crazy. Chanwoo just laughed and shakes his head while watching you dance. And for the second time, he did something that he never thought he would do. He danced with you.  

The two of you were in deep breath as you sit on the floor watching the stars in the sky. The wind was blowing and Chanwoo can't help himself, he tucked your hair behind your ears.  

You just stare at Chanwoo and your smile vanished.  

"Let's cross another one out," Chanwoo blurted that made you smile again. "Can you think of anything?" 

"I want someone to serenade me," you blurted out after you think for a second. 

"You want me to serenade you?" he rephrased. 

"You don't have to if you don't want. Maybe we can just grab someone on the streets to serenade me," you answered then laugh. 

Chanwoo laughed at your crazy suggestion. "I'll do it. Wait here." 

You watch Chanwoo as he go back to the door. "Don't you dare leave me here!" you shouted and Chanwoo look back and gesture you to wait so you did. After 15 minutes you saw him back with sweats in his forehead and a guitar on hand. 

"Wow you have your things here? Are you always this prepared, Jung Chanwoo?" you asked as you laughed while Chanwoo walks back to you. 

"Well, Junhoe always has his guitar in his compartment." 

"Wow, so you guys really brought guitar with you and you serenade your girls so you can get them to be your girlfriends?" You asked as Chanwoo walk back to his seat. 

Chanwoo shakes his head, "Not me, just Junhoe and Jinhwan hyung." 

"So you haven't tried serenading someone yet?" you curiously asked. 

"No," Chanwoo answered as he started strumming the guitar. "I think I haven't found the one yet." 

"You know," you started as you look up to the sky, "maybe the reason why you haven't found the one yet is because you are too focused on your baseball and the fate haven't let you meet her because she knows that you can't give her the attention that she should have at this moment. But don't worry I know that fate won't leave you hanging, Chan. A guy like you deserves everything, we all deserve to be looked at with pure admiration. Just wait because I know she is on her way," you smile. 

 _And you're not her?_ Chanwoo suddenly found himself asking that question. Maybe the reason why he haven't met the one yet is because you are always away from him. Everyone deserves to be looked at with pure admiration but isn't it what he is doing right now? He is looking at you with pure admiration. 

Chanwoo's mind is always filled with what ifs and what could have beens but you took it all away. You took everything that is bothering him away. 

Maybe just maybe, Donghyuk's right, he shouldn't miss this chance. He shouldn't let the perfect girl get away. 

He started strumming his guitar and started singing Vegas Skies. You are just staring at Chanwoo as he sang the song. Those optimistic eyes will be the death of him. He can get drowned on your eyes and he don't mind. 

Part of your life mission is to bring back the happiness in his eyes. Our eyes are the window of our souls. It shows everything that we can't say. And somehow, you saw the sadness in Chanwoo's eyes and you wanted to wipe it away. 

You just bust in his life without consent. You jumped in his life without second thoughts but with clear intention. 

Chanwoo was part of your bucket list. Have you already crossed it yet? Chanwoo knows that you have successfully wiped the sadness away. The two of you managed to crossed off two things on your bucket list tonight. But in Chanwoo's mind he knows that you crossed three. 


	8. 🦋 VIII - Camping

Chanwoo called you the next day to check on you since you texted him that you have been grounded and your siblings told you that you can't go out as a punishment for sneaking out again last night to attend the exhibit. 

You are ranting on Chanwoo about how unfair it is since your siblings didn't really stay with you to know what is happening in your life. 

"They were just worried, you are sneaking out late at night and it's really dangerous." Chanwoo answered and you just pursed your lips. 

You don't usually answer calls and whenever you are locked in your room you usually paint. But now you have your full attention on your phone listening to Chanwoo as he scolds you for sneaking out late. And he felt responsible since he was the one who invited you. He said that he shouldn't have invited you since it got you in trouble again. 

"So would you just stay inside then? You won't be going out? Since your siblings won't allow you?" You heard him asked.  

"No. I bet they won't even care even if I sneak out right now. And besides, they aren't even home today. They told me they are here for vacation yet they don't even stay at home." you answered still frustrated since you can't even go out yet you are all alone in the house. 

"So are you free tomorrow then?" Chanwoo asked. 

"Why? Are you asking me out on a date?" you asked jokingly with a laugh. 

You heard Chanwoo snorted, "I'm gonna take you out for camping. You haven't experienced camping right?" 

"Really?" you smiled, since he didn't really forgot how you told him you haven't tried camping without your siblings. 

"Yeah. We're gonna cross something out of your bucket list again." 

Your smile faded. If Chanwoo only knew the reason why you made your bucket list. 

"Hey, butterfly you still with me?" 

"Y-yeah," you answered gulping the lump on your throat. "You know what, I'm sleepy so I'm gonna go to sleep."  

"Alright, I guess I'll be seeing you tomorrow then?" 

You bid your goodbye and turned off the call then you heard a knock on your door. The door opened and you saw your sister looking so pretty in her dress. 

"I didn't sneak out today. And in case Junhoe told you something stupid again whatever it is I swear I didn't do it." You told her before she can even enter you room. 

She laughed as she entered your room and went to sit on the bed beside you. 

This is the first time you saw your sister this long since they went home. Which is really sad because whenever you came out of your room she's either asleep or already running out of the house to do something. 

Your siblings are busy with their own life and you felt like you are the only one who hasn't moved on yet. Ever since your parents separated everyone seems to move on but you. You are still stuck and you are all alone. 

You missed the old days. When they are still here. When your parents are still together. No works for your siblings and no other woman for your dad. You missed it so much and you can't help but just hugged your sister tightly. 

She hugged you back while combing your hair with her fingers. 

Your sister called your name and softly said, "I am getting married." 

You started to tear up upon hearing the news. You know that sooner or later one of them will gonna get married and move out. You dreaded for this day to happen. You don't want your sister to get married and move out but you knows that it will be so selfish of you to stop your sister from getting married. 

You silently cried in your sister's arms and you wished she would understand your tears because you can't tell her what's on your mind and you hoped that your tears told her everything you ever wanted to say. 

Chanwoo prepared everything that you will need for camping. And he went to Bobby's room to borrow his car since Bobby owned a pick-up truck. 

He saw Bobby talking to his nephew when he entered the room. "Hyung let me borrow your car." 

"You have your own why would you need mine?" Bobby asked in confusion. 

"I need it for camping." he answered nonchalantly and grab the keys on study table. 

Bobby quickly said his goodbye and turned off the call and follow him out. 

"You are going camping?! Am I the only one who didn't know about this are you all leaving me?" Bobby asked dramatically which made the 5 other guys in the living room look at the two of them in confusion. 

"What happened?" Yunhyeong asked as he is cleaning the table. 

"Chanwoo is going camping." Bobby dropped the bomb. 

"Why would you even go camping without us?" Donghyuk asked. 

"Are you even going out alone?" Junhoe asked loudly which earned a smack from a sleepy Hanbin on the couch. 

"Do you even know how to live alone?" Jinhwan asked as he focus his eyes on the youngest. 

"I am not alone. I am bringing someone with me." Chanwoo answered as he went to his room to bring out his things. 

"Why do you have so much are you leaving us now?" Junhoe asked as he saw Chanwoo bring out all the things that they would need. 

"Chanwoo you know you can talk to us if you have problems okay? No need to move out." Hanbin told him calmly which made the other 5 stare at Chanwoo in confusion. 

"Hyungs stop being so dramatic. I am going to the camp site okay? I'll only be gone for two days it's not like I won't return anymore." Chanwoo answered. 

"I bet he's going with his butterfly again." Yunhyeong mentioned as he flopped himself on the sofa. 

"Chanwoo you are hanging out with her more than us now." Bobby said dramatically as he fake cry with his hands on his chest. 

"Chanwoo remember that I still haven't forgot that you ditch the after party for your butterfly." Jinhwan added and Chanwoo just sigh. 

"I swear Jung Chanwoo if you are dating my cousin-"  

Chanwoo cuts Junhoe before finishing his sentence. "Yes I am going with her and NO we are not dating."  

"Why won't you just date her?" Donghyuk asked curiously. 

"We're friends." Chanwoo answered as he put on his shoes. 

"You know Donghyuk told us that he is Lisa's friend so he won't date her as well but look at them now." Jinhwan said teasing them. 

"Stop pushing the topic guys, you know Chanwoo is so shy about things like this." Bobby added as he started teasing Chanwoo as well. 

"Anyway just be sure to return back here or I'm gonna hunt you down. Give me a ride to the mall I will need to buy something." said the sleepy Hanbin as he get up and went to the door with Chanwoo. 

"Where are you even going?" Chanwoo asked Hanbin as they got in the car. 

"Nowhere I just feel like I needed to talk to you." Hanbin asked as he reclined his seat. 

"Talk to me about what?" Chanwoo asked curiously as he started the car. 

"About your friend, your butterfly." Hanbin asked as he glanced on Chanwoo. 

"What about her? I swear hyung if you are gonna say that I should date her like what they are saying the answer is no. And we are just friends." Chanwoo answered immediately which made Hanbin laugh. 

"No I won't ask that. Why are you so defensive when we just want to know your status?" Hanbin said which made Chanwoo blushed. 

"Hyung, I am not defensive I am just explaining things to avoid confusion." Chanwoo answered as he tap his fingers on the steering wheel. 

"Anyway, how is she doing?" Hanbin asked with cautiously. 

"What do you mean? She's doing great."  

Hanbin sigh. "So you won't really date her?" 

"What's with the sigh hyung? I told you we are friends." Chanwoo answered but in the back of his mind he is now weighing his feelings for you. 

"Just date her Chanwoo." Hanbin told Chanwoo with a suppressed laugh. "I know even if I didn't tell you, you would." 

Chanwoo just chuckled. "I would. But not now. I have some unfinished business to do." Chanwoo answered as he thinks of the times you are together. Chanwoo promised himself to confess after finishing your bucket list. After doing everything that makes you smile.  

 _Because after doing everything that makes you smile I want to be the reason of your smile,_ Chanwoo thought. 

He dropped Hanbin at the mall and went to the cafe where you two decided to meet. 

He saw you sitting at the table near the window and he can't help but smile. He haven't talked to you yet he is already in a good mood. 

He got out of his car and entered the cafe. He slowly walked to your table and he saw that you are so engrossed in reading that you haven't notice him yet. 

So he decided to call your name. You look up and saw Chanwoo and you immediately wipe your tears and smiled at him. That deceiving smile. 

"Hey, you didn't tell me that you are on your way here." You said as you tried to stop the tears from falling.  

Chanwoo immediately take the vacant seat beside you and tuck a few strands of your hair to your ears before asking you what's wrong and why are you crying. 

"It's nothing, just the book. I am crying because of the book." You softly said as you look at him and smile. 

He take a glance at the book, 'All the Bright Places' by Jennifer Niven. 

"You're here early." Chanwoo stated.  

You just smile and softly answered, "No one's home so I decided to just go here early to have breakfast. Have you eaten yet?" 

"Yes," Chanwoo answered as he keeps on staring at you. 

You avoided Chanwoo's gaze and he sigh. He let go from holding your face as he asked if you are done reading you answered him yes and you two decided to go on your way to the campsite. 


	9. 🦋 IX - License

It has been two days since you went camping with Chanwoo. And today is the day of where your grades will be released. Chanwoo texted you earlier saying he will be at campus. 

Junhoe offered you a ride to the university. You are softly humming a song and you noticed that Junhoe keeps on glancing at you. 

"Stop staring, dumbass. What is it?" You asked as you look at Junhoe. 

"Nothing," he said as he smiled. 

"I swear if you are planning something stupid again don't do it or I am gonna punch you." Junhoe just laughed. 

"Okay, okay," Junhoe answered as he glanced at you one last time. "I just want to ask, what's with you and Chanwoo?" Junhoe asked as he focus his eyes on the road. 

"Nothing, we are just friends."  

"Is that like some of your code on something? Just friends? Chanwoo keeps saying that to answer the question as well." Junhoe said wanting to pry more information. 

"It is not some sort of codes, Junhoe. You are just dumb." You said as you get off his car once he parked inside the university. 

"Hey," Junhoe shouted as he immediately get out of his car to follow you. "You're not inviting me to your escapades anymore." 

"Of course, how can I invite you if you're not even home. And besides you have your martial arts practice dumbass." You answered as you laugh. 

"I can ditch practice you know. Just tell me you don't want me anymore and maybe I can forgive you a little." Junhoe said as he suddenly hugs the life out of you. 

You just laughed, "You are a dumbass you know you can't ditch a practice and I know you are not mad at me. Let's hang out some other time." You said as you smack Junhoe's head to let you go and you run away from him, leaving Junhoe screaming your name telling you to be careful. 

You finally got your grades and you thanked every God since you did not fail anything this semester.  

You received a text from Chanwoo earlier telling you to meet him at the bench where you first talked to each other.  

You are silently walking and you saw him there and flashbacks of your first meeting came back to your mind and you can't help but laugh. 

Chanwoo saw you and he waived at you. You went to the bench skipping and you smiled at him as you sit on the other side of the bench. 

"So what now?" you asked him curiously since he has been smiling the whole time. 

"How's your grades?" he asked you back ignoring your question. 

"It's good. I passed everything. How about you? Have you already talked to your coach?"  

"Yeah," he told you as he sigh. He looked at you and smiled again. "I'm playing as a pitcher this season." 

"Really? Oh my God!" you are genuinely happy for Chanwoo that he decided to play again. And you are so happy that you did not noticed that you are already hugging him. 

"Sorry about that." You said as you let him go. "I mean, what made you change your mind?" 

"You," he answered then laugh. "I admit that the semester break trip made me think of other things and so I decided to play again." 

Chanwoo answered and he did not lie. The real reason about him playing again is you. He remembered how you told him when you went camping that you enjoyed watching him play. And he wants to be the reason of your smile because if you are happy then he is happy as well. 

"Let's try crossing off everything on your bucket list before the break ends." Chanwoo said as he smiled at you. 

You stand up in front of him, there is something in your eyes that Chanwoo can't explain but your smile is making him feel something. 

"Are you sure?" You asked him while still smiling. 

"Yeah, because when the semester starts I won't have time again since practice starts early this coming semester." Chanwoo answered. He wanted to finish off everything on your bucket list so you two can start creating a new one. He wanted to list down everything he wanted to do with you.  

"There's not much left, I think we only have three left?" you said as you get your notebook to check on the list. 

"Wait, I think only two is left anymore since you are now happy? You are happy right?" you asked Chanwoo while still grinning in front of him. 

"Of course," Chanwoo answered immediately. _He is happy because you are happy_. He wanted to keep that smile and he will do anything to make that smile stay on your face. 

You are just staring at Chanwoo as if observing him, "Okay! Then only two left, one is me getting my driver's license and the other one I can't tell you." You told Chanwoo as you avoided his gaze. 

"Why can't you tell me? Ah never mind, I know you will tell me about it once we crossed off your driver license because we will be getting it today." Chanwoo told you as he stood up and now he is the one pulling you to his car to go to the driving center. 

It has been 2 weeks since you started your driving lesson and Chanwoo is always with you and today is the final test.  

You are so nervous and you can't help but fidget on your seat as you wait for the result. Chanwoo hold your hand to calm you. 

You look at him then pouted, "What if I fail?"  

"You won't fail trust me. You learned from the best so you won't fail." Chanwoo bragged which made you smile. 

"I can't really think of anything right now." You blurted out nervously. 

"Okay, stop thinking about failing. You will pass." Chanwoo said softly as he rub his thumb on the back of your hand. 

"I know what will make you happy," Chanwoo smiled and you stare at his dimples. You can't help but poke his dimples which made him laugh. 

"Here's what we are going to do, once you pass, you will tell me the last one on your bucket list and we will be sure to cross it off." 

"But what if I fail?" you asked still nervous about the final result. 

"If you fail we're gonna redo everything on your bucket list together." Chanwoo answered which made you smile. 

And in that moment you wished that you would fail. Because you want to do everything again with Chanwoo. You don't have much time left before the semester starts but you would want to do it all over again. But this time, you are not alone but with Chanwoo. 

You are walking back to Chanwoo's car and he still haven't let go of your hand. You felt the raindrops fall and you tried pulling Chanwoo to his car before you got wet but Chanwoo pulled you back. 

"Are you crazy?" you shouted as the rain started to fall harder. 

"Tell me the last one on your list, butterfly or we will stay here." Chanwoo told you smiling and you can't help but smile. 

"You are really crazy." You shake your head as you tried pulling Chanwoo but he won't still budge. 

You sigh finally giving in. "Okay, I will tell you the last one but promise me that you will only do it if you really want to." You said as you look at Chanwoo despite the heavy rain. 

Chanwoo just nodded and pulled you close to him as he stare at your eyes waiting for what you would say. 

You nervously let out a laugh and told him the last thing that hasn't been crossed off on your list.  

Chanwoo smiled upon hearing it as he remove and fix your hair that is blocking your face. And there he did it. Under the heavy rain. He holds you like you are the most fragile glass in the world. He fulfilled the last one on your list.  

_ The last one is to be kissed by the last person written on my bucket list. _

You closed your eyes as you felt Chanwoo's lips on yours. And you cried. Chanwoo didn't notice it because of the rain. And you thanked the rain for hiding your tears. 

He let go after a few seconds and he rested his forehead on yours. He looks at you as he smile and you can't help it but to smile as well.  

The drive on your way back to your rest house is silent. And the silence was broken off by the sound of his phone ringing. 

Chanwoo put the phone on loudspeaker as you look at him, he just smiled at you. 

"Jung we need you back here at the university. We are done with the recruitment for new recruits and we need you to orient." You heard the familiar voice, it's Song Mino, one of his teammates. 

"Can you just do the orientation? I'll just meet them tomorrow." Chanwoo answered in an annoyed tone. 

"I can't coach has been looking for you since early this morning. You ditch the practice today, Chanwoo and I can't cover up anymore." You heard Mino said in his apologetic tone. 

Chanwoo just looked at you and you stare back at him and you gently nodded. 

Chanwoo sigh, "Okay tell them that I will be there in 10." 

Chanwoo ended the call and you arrived at the rest house.  

"Would you still want to get inside to change? I know Junhoe has a few of his clothes you can borrow?" you softly told Chanwoo as you remove your seatbelt. 

Chanwoo just shakes his head, "I need to get back to campus, promise I'll talk to you later." 

You just nodded and you are about to get off the car when Chanwoo pulled you lightly and you stare at him. 

Chanwoo felt that something is off. He can't put his fingers on it but he knows something is wrong but he doesn't know what to say so he just shakes his head. 

You hold his hand and smile, "stop overthinking about things okay? Just go and attend your orientation and you can call me later."  

Chanwoo smiled and pulled you a little closer as he kissed your forehead. "Okay then, I'll call you later." 

You just nodded as you get out of his car and told him to drive safely before he started his car and drove off. 

He called you later that night as he promised. You answered his call and you talked to him about your siblings reaction to you getting a driver's license. 

"They are so happy that Top oppa decided to just give me his car but my sister is not agreeing on the idea." You told Chanwoo as you lay down on your bed. 

"I can understand her, maybe she is just worried that you might wander off again especially since you have your own car and you can now drive." Chanwoo answered as he chuckled. 

"You know the reason why I told you is because I am hoping I can have an ally and I didn't know you would be like that." You said in a sad tone but with a smile on your face. 

Chanwoo just laugh, "you can't blame them since you always wander off, butterfly." 

You talked about a lot of things and you asked him what he's gonna do tomorrow. The new semester will be starting the day after tomorrow and you know that Chanwoo will get busy again. 

"I have a practice tomorrow." Chanwoo sigh. "I want to see you." 

"You just saw me earlier and you haven't seen me for like 5 hours." You said as you laugh. 

"I miss you already." He answered in his sleepy tone. 

"You know you're just tired let's just talk tomorrow."  

"No, I am not. And will you be in the university tomorrow?" 

"Yes, I am. I will be enrolling tomorrow and let's meet and maybe have dinner or something." You told Chanwoo as you yawn. 

"You are the one who is sleepy, butterfly." Chanwoo said as he chuckled.  

"I am slightly sleepy," you answered. "Don't bring your car tomorrow I will drive you around okay?" you said as the sleepiness is taking over you. 

"Hmm," Chanwoo smiled upon hearing your sleepy voice. "I'll just meet you tomorrow. Goodnight." He said as he listened to your soft snores. 


	10. 🦋 X - X; Last

You are sitting on the bench as you watch the baseball team have their practice game with the new recruits. You are watching Chanwoo and you smiled when you realized that you are able to bring back the spark in his eyes. The spark that you always love to see whenever he play.  

He looks at you and you wave slightly and you saw him smiled. You did everything that was on your plan that day. After his practice you drive around a little then went to dinner then you dropped Chanwoo on his dorm. 

He got out of the car and you got out as well.  

"So how's my driving?" You said as you walk on the other side of the car to meet Chanwoo. He just smiled and pulled you close for a hug and you hug him back. 

"Chanwoo," you softly whispered as you put your ears on his chest. "Promise me that you will never ever lose your smile okay?"  

Chanwoo, just hums his answer. "What would you do if I won't smile tomorrow." 

You hug him tighter, "then we will do everything on my bucket list again." You said as you chuckle slightly letting go of the hug but your hands still remains on his waist as you look at him. 

"What's with the look?" Chanwoo asked worriedly as he cupped your face. 

You laughed at him, "what look? I know I am pretty."  

He just chuckled and flicked your forehead.  

"Get inside, let's meet again tomorrow okay?" you said as you stare at Chanwoo memorizing his features. 

Chanwoo softly looked at you and smiled.  

"But promise me that when we meet you will smile okay? I don't wanna go around traveling and ditching my first day of class." You said with a chuckle and Chanwoo just nod. 

Chanwoo kissed your forehead and told you to drive safely. You bid your goodbye as Chanwoo watch you start the car then drove off. 

 


	11. 🦋 X; The Letter

Chanwoo went to the university early the next day and he is looking forward to see you. He went directly to his locker and he saw a box. He get the box since he doesn't remember him putting it there.  

He took out the box and he immediately smile upon seeing a photo at the cover. It is the photo you took on your first escapade. It was taken at the amusement park after you have danced in the middle of the crowd.  

He opened the box and saw a lot of your pictures in there. Some was your photos together and some are candid shots that he doesn't know you took when you are together. 

He noticed a paper and he took it out. There was a sunflower stamp and he immediately thought it was from you and he shakes his head and decided to read the letter. 

 _Hey superstar it's me._ He smiled and shakes his head as he saw the familiar handwriting. 

 _If you are reading this letter it is probably already the start of the semester. And the break is finally over. I wanted to know how was your break? Did you enjoy it?_  

 _I suddenly remembered the first time we talked. I saw you sitting at the bench and I suddenly found myself walking towards you and then we are talking. I never really thought that you would talk to me but you did. And in my mind this is it. Maybe I will be able to crossed off everything on my bucket list._  

 _I asked you to come with me for a trip and you agreed. And I remember you asking me if I don't have any friends to come with me, the truth is I don't. I don't know how to tell you that time so I lied about them already planned their breaks before the semester starts. This probably sounds so stupid but I don't have friends from our university and you are the very first one. I don't have someone to hang out with well, except for Junhoe._  

 _And as we spent our time together I learned a lot about you and I felt something different. And for the first time since I started crossing off my list I felt scared. I'm scared of crossing everything off my list. What if after crossing everything I lose you? What will happen to us after I crossed them off? Are you gonna ignore me when the new semester starts?_  

 _But then I saw that you are happy while crossing them so I think that maybe, I can also be happy while I crossed them off with you, even if you don't know anything that will happen after we crossed everything off. I thought maybe you will stay with me even when the semester starts right?_  

 _We keep on doing everything on that list and I started to wonder, do you really wanted to push me out of your life that quick so you wanted to finish everything off? But then maybe you are the sign that I was waiting for too long. That maybe you are that someone that can numb me from all this pain._  

 _But then I felt everything on the rooftop. I wanted to stop crossing off the list. I was so lost in your eyes and I wish for the time to stop. I wish the time will pass by slowly so I can be with you even for a little bit longer. I was hoping that you would ask me everything about the bucket list and I was so ready to tell you everything, maybe if I told you, you would stop me. I was hoping you would stop me. But then you smiled and told me that you would serenade me, another thing that was written on my list. And then it hit me, I wanted this and this is the first time that something that I want is finally happening. I should just enjoy everything with you. Because I know that you will ask me about the list. I was hoping you would ask me about the list._  

 _Time passed by and you are so fast to cross everything on the list without knowing anything. And without realizing it we finally crossed out everything. But I added another thing on my mind in hopes that you wouldn't do it. Because I wanted you to ask me about the list and I want you to stop me. But would you stop me if you know?_  

 _I told you that there's a last one but the truth is we crossed everything after we got my license. I lied about the kiss because I thought you wouldn't do it but you did._  

 _I already planned everything Chanwoo. And I don't want you to blame yourself so I wrote this because I wanted you to know everything. Remember when I told you that I always planned the first day of my adventures? Because I already planned this adventure as well. I planned everything when I started writing the bucket list._  

 _I wrote the bucket list to keep my mind from wandering off. I created the list because I want to have something every day that I would look forward to._  

 _I am always fighting with my demons alone and I get tired of fighting so I started to run. I keep on running, Chanwoo. But I know I can't just keep on running forever because I know sooner or later they are gonna catch me and they did. I felt what happiness means with you. All the times that we spent together I want to let you know that I was happy. I want to keep on going but I realized that I was so deep in this dark hole and I can't get out anymore. I was so happy but the happiness I felt with you is not strong enough to pull me back. I'm so sorry, Chanwoo._  

 _I know this would be selfish of me but I hope you won't forget about me, Chanwoo. Me asking you to remember everything that we did might be too much but I hope that you don't regret spending your whole break with me. I hope I can be someone that you can't forget. And please don't break your promise, Chanwoo. Please smile because I won't be there to go around and travel with you to wipe it off._  

Chanwoo didn't know what to feel after reading your letter. 

No. She can't be... His train of thoughts was cut off by his phone ringing. Junhoe is calling. And he don't know what to feel. He nervously answered the call and prayed to all Gods that what he is thinking right now is wrong, that he is willing to do anything just to know that you would still meet him today. But with Junhoe's confirmation his world shattered. He haven't told you yet. He lost his hold to the phone the same time as his heart breaks. Tears are already streaming down his face as he looked at the box that you gave him. He looks at every picture that was in there. All of your memories with Chanwoo is there together with your notebook. 

He didn't know anything and he is so stupid for not noticing anything. He finally realized all those time that he saw something in your eyes but he choose to ignore it. You needed his help but he is too blinded by your smile to notice the signs.  

And when he finally realized everything it's already too late. He is already too late.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> — THE END.
> 
> Thank you for reading my story. We all have our own battles and we deal with them differently. We face it on our own everyday and we don't need to be exactly like anyone else to get through our own pain. We may not see it but everyone is struggling with their own pain and every little thing that we do we can affect everyone.
> 
> Smile, it may seem a little thing to do but you won't know if a stranger needs it to get through the day. And to everyone who is silently struggling and fighting, I am rooting for you, you may not know me personally but know that there will always be someone rooting for you.  
> //  
> END NOTES:
> 
> No translations, reposting and/or modifying of the material is allowed without my direct permission.


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